Welcoming Baby #2 brought me such joy on April 1. My son was the first visitor to meet his new sister after she was born. Watching him love and accept her warmed my heart. Our new family dynamic would prove to be more challenging once we brought her home and Big Brother realized that Little Sis took some of the attention away from him. Nevertheless, the blessings abound!
Caring for baby #2 sure seems alot easier. I'm more at ease; I know what I'm doing. I know it's ok to let her cry. However, returning to the days of feeding her every 2-3 hours and changing diapers at the same frequency has left me WEARY. I get some sleep, but never more than a few hours at a time. Having experienced this before, I knew it was coming. But I had forgotten how much it drains you! And I often wonder how I survived teaching full-time the first time around.
For those of you experiencing the same weariness, let me offer some encouragement that I recently found in Psalms. (including some personal commentary)
You've probably seen or heard this one numerous times-
Psalm 23:1-3 (NLT)
The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
My first thought, "Rest in green meadows, along peaceful streams?! That would be nice right about now! I'll take rest in a barn if it just means I could sleep more than 3 hours at a time." But suppose its a metaphor. How do I find rest and peace? God does provide opportunities for it...I just have to change my attitude, open my eyes, and take notice of the blessings surrounding me. I can take advantage of the kids' naptime to take time for myself. Ideas? Put off the laundry 10 minutes and go sit outside by my pool, close my eyes, and enjoy the breeze....in silence. NO iPhones allowed!!
Psalm 40:8 says "I take joy in doing your will, my God,
for your instructions are written on my heart."
My first thought, "Being a mommy and carrying out all the duties that come with it is God's will for my life. I should take joy in ALL of those duties." I'm learning to find that joy in the countless feedings and diaper changes through the midnight hours. I used to roll out of bed so begrudgingly, but this sacrifice of unconditional love is great in God's sight. It also helps me bond with my baby when all else is quiet...something very rare now that there's 2 kids around here. They grow up too fast and this will only last a short season. I'll turn around, she'll be going to prom, and I'll be wishing she was back in my arms wanting to simply eat and poop at 4am. And then fall asleep cuddled up on my chest :) So I will choose JOY in EVERY moment that I'm blessed to share with her. (Same goes for my son...through terrible two tantrums and all.)
Attitude is everything. When my attitude starts to stink, I've learned to open Psalms and read a prayer of thanksgiving and praise. It's amazing how quickly my outlook begins to change.
